I hurt. I want to cry. I quit smoking today.

Today has been the hardest day in many, many years. It’s been incredibly hard to concentrate. I’ve had this dull throbbing in the back of my head all day. Once in a while, I want to just hold my head and cry, but when I do, nothing happens. My chest feels tight and I’m having a hard time taking deep breaths. I feel my body temperature sporadically jump and I start to sweat, just sitting still. My stomach feels like it’s tied in a knot. I can’t stop chewing the tips of my fingers. I have no fingernails left. I find myself biting my lip to distract myself. My sinuses won’t dry up so my nose won’t stop running. My eyes are puffy and swollen and itchy. Sometimes, I just want to bang my head against my desk until I pass out.

Today, at 1:00 PM, I quit smoking.

Lets see how long my willpower holds out. If tomorrow is anything like today, I don’t know if I can take another day like this one. I’d rather bite off my tongue and swallow it and choke to death, that’s how bad this feels.

Update: Ah, I just realized that this posted after midnight, so as clarification: I quit at 1:00 PM on September 6th, not on the 7th.

Comments

  1. Dossy, I feel 4ya! Believe me it gets better. Take it 1 day at a time. Question:
    Do you really support giving $$(money; your money)to someone who is making a profit on slowly killing you? I have 50% of my lung capacity. My Dr. asked me if I wanted to live most of the rest of my life with, or with out tubes up my nose. Probably, I will live the same amount of time with, or without smoking. Quality of life is the difference. Looking at the numbers on my med.chart I can smoke for another ten years, and spend another ten years without the quality of life I live now. I can give up smoking now, live twenty years witht he quality of life I live now. I take the money I save by not smoking, and spend it on a quality of life I want to live now, because I can’t count on the extra ten years of QOL that I would want when I get there. I think my Dr. said; no, he said, “I want to be able to have sex when I’m seventy two.” That did it for Me! I stopped drinking and smoking over five years ago. Still hits me now and again; wish it wouldn’t, but it does. I just say “Ouch” and move on. Good Luck. Hope you make the grade.

  2. Ian Knight says:

    yeah, also it starts getting easier to breathe, which is nice.

  3. I quit like 3 days ago and I sweat buckets from under my arms and palms. I used to smoke blunts (weed/tobacco mix) only. I’d have maybe 5-7 daily.
    I have been on and off many times in the last 8 years. When I want it now I go to my vaporizer as it’s a better way to get THC. No burning, no tar, no carcinogens…just pure THC. The nice thing is that vaporizing opens the lungs and I breath excellent. The “high” beats the nicotine craving all the time…every time. Sure I’m in lala land for a while but hey that’s a plus about being dutch =)
    Good luck all!!!

  4. Wow… you sure are finding it tough. But really, quitting doesn’t need to be that hard. You shouldn’t go cold turkey as it’s really tough this way.

    Doing it tough like this will only set you up for failure as a relapse is only just around the corner. Keep smoking but smoke each cigarette with a different frame of mind.

    Combined with hypnosis, it will make your task easier.

    Good luck and let us know how you’re going.

    Cheers.

  5. Crying is normal when quitting. All what your describing is normal, it sounds like your uneducated about the addiction. Google “whyquit” the best cold turkey support group on the net.

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