Panty-raiding cokehead arsonist? This wasn’t in the brochure …

I forgot to post this entry two weeks ago when I saw this originally, but better late than never, right?

Cops: Butler man set fire after stealing underwear
Toilet paper rolls used to start blaze at woman’s apartment
BY PEGGY WRIGHT
08/27/05 – Posted from the Daily Record newsroom

BUTLER — A part-time doughnut shop worker has been charged with breaking into an acquaintance’s apartment, stealing 27 pairs of her underwear and setting fire to her home by igniting rolls of toilet paper with a cigarette lighter, authorities said Friday.

Kenneth G. Morgan Jr. of Gifford Street, Butler, was first charged Thursday with breaking into the woman’s apartment at Butler Gardens around 2 a.m. Tuesday and stealing her panties and a bathing suit. While being held on burglary and theft charges in the Morris County jail, Morgan also was charged with committing aggravated arson at the same time he allegedly broke into the apartment.

[...]

On Aug. 18, five days before the fire, Morgan was charged by Butler police with possession of two grams of cocaine. He was released into his own custody after the drug arrest.

(via Topix.net: Butler, NJ)

Yes, even in the sleepy suburban town of Butler, NJ, we have a panty-raiding cokehead arsonist. Fantastic! Was that the sound of my house value dropping?

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Comments

  1. Ian Knight says:

    but… who’s gonna make the donuts?

  2. Dossy says:

    I just hope it’s really cream in the coffee. *shudder*

  3. Zach Weiner says:

    Dropping?

    I see nothing but upside here.

    First of all, there’s one less apartment. Going on the theory of supply and demand, your house should have gained value.

    Furthermore, everyone knows that coke is “the white collar” drug. Investment bankers, rock stars and advertising executives with coke habbits will all be relieved to know that they can get their shopping done locally.

    Not sure how we turn the panties into a plus here, but really, who doesn’t like panties? At least it’s nice to know that the young women of Butler are clean enough that they might even have 27 pairs of underwear. Lord knows I only have 10 or 15.

    Let me know when I can move in!

  4. Dossy says:

    Zach: The fallacy here is that supply and demand are co-related. Supply decreased by one, but I suspect demand has decreased by a number a few orders of magnitude greater.

    However, your point about the panties, now that’s interesting. What effect this event will likely have is that Butler will simply attract more coke-head panty fetishists because they know there’s plenty to be found, here.

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