Better living through chemicals, chapter 2

Last year, I started taking Paxil CR. Today, my doctor decided to add Wellbutrin XL to the mix, starting with a 150mg dose, possibly going up to a 300mg dose. In a few weeks, we’ll see how it goes.

Coincidentally, today I received an unsolicited invitation to join the Depression Support group at the Revolution Health website. The irony is, what depressed person wants to hear another person whine about how crappy their life is? It’s like taking advice on how to stop drinking from a currently abusing alcoholic.

Lately, my wife has been using my car more than I am–because I don’t need to drive much any more–and she went and took out the Pink Floyd CD from my CD player and swapped it with an Indigo Girls CD. As I got into my car to drive home from the doctor’s appointment today, Prince of Darkness started playing–a song I haven’t listened to in quite a while. The first few lines really made me cry (which is not good while you’re trying to drive):

I don’t know when I noticed
Life was at my expense
The words of my heart lined up
Like prisoners on a fence

My dreams came in like needy children
Tugging at my sleeve
I said I have no way of feeding you,
So leave

Sadness is an incredible emotion; it seemingly has no limit.

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  1. jananaphone says

    I’ve been reading the depression community on LJ lately (felt I should be reading it, if I was going to be posting there), and it’s been slowly dawning on me how awful it is to have to read that stuff.

    I hope the Wellbutrin works for you; I didn’t have that great a time with it. :)

  2. Maybe that’s the key to these depression support groups: when you see how pathetic it all is, after you’ve thrown up a little in your mouth enough times after reading the drivel, you just resolve to “stop this crap” and get better. Or, maybe you just give up all hope and just stop trying. Either way, you win.

    I do hope the Wellbutrin helps … I’ve heard mixed results from people who have taken it, so we’ll see whether my brain likes it or not. I start tomorrow.

  3. Hey Dossy, FYI, one of the side effects of Wellbutrin-XL is really intense dreams. For real. I’m on it, and I can verify this. (I dreamt I was cooking a gourmet meal for an emotionally distraught Angelina Jolie. …And here’s the weird part: She wasn’t adopting any children.)

    The drug for me, did mark a real turning point to when I started feeling better, more social, and overall ready to go out in the world again. Hope it has some of the same success for you.

    FYI, the generic for Wellbutrin-XL recently was in the news for not time-releasing its dosage properly like the non-Generic. I use the generic and don’t notice any significant difference, but apparently some people do.

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