The world’s simplest dating site?

I just love Scott Adams. Recently, he asked, “If you had to design a dating web site that matched people on just two criteria, what would those criteria be?” Call me insensitive, but here’s my answer:

1. Number of natural teeth.
2. Eye color.

A complete set of adult teeth should add up to 32 (including the four wisdom teeth). People with more than 32 … well, that’s a big warning flag, right? People with significantly less … probably live too far south or west for me to be interested in all the way up here in New Jersey. So, tooth count is a good selector, if you ask me.

Eye color is the subtle way of being racist. I mean, how many blue-eyed black people do you know? Years ago, I was told a great story where a racially sensitive parent who was told by their child that “they were dating a South African” wanted to subtly find out if they were black or white, so they asked, “what color are his eyes?” Yeah, smooth, right? Of course, most people probably have brown eyes, but for all the people who don’t, this question is probably a good selector.

So, I’m a 29-toothed brown-eyed looking for a 26-32 toothed blue-eyed. (I’ve had two wisdom teeth removed so far, and one is apparently still hiding in my gums.)