seankreynolds discusses the shift in attitudes regarding corporal punishment of children in his LJ today. I left this comment in response:

Often I think people mistake abusive violence and discipline. Given that we’re all just meat puppets and operant conditioning is well understood, punishment as a form of discipline is necessary; neutering a parent’s ability to physically punish is a grave mistake of our society. However, as you describe, anecdotes of unprovoked violence is abuse. Violence with the intent to cause pain rather than serve as punishment is abuse.

There’s no room in this world for abuse. However, a society that does not apply physical punishment when appropriate is equally doomed.

The fact that we no longer condone appropriate physical punishment, I feel, comes from us collectively “erring on the side of caution” as it is too easy for people to cross the line from punishment to abuse. Unfortunately, it’s the risk aversion to letting parents make such a mistake that has ultimately created worse problems.

I know this is a subject that many feel strongly about, and people’s opinions cover the whole spectrum. Is there something about my comment you disagree with? Am I missing something? Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Tags: parenting, corporal punishment, abuse

For Giftmas 2007, we adopted two cats–a brother and sister pair, originally named Pumpkin (boy) and Ashes (girl). We’ve attached additional names to them, namely Tiger for Pumpkin and Fudgebar for Ashes.

My wife did all the work of finding the cats and adopting them and without all her hard work and effort, nothing would get done around here. She also snapped off a few awesome pictures of the cats after they adjusted to the house a bit.

Here’s two pictures that she took of them that I got around to uploading:

Tags: cats

I’m busy working this weekend, but my wife and children are down in Delaware in support of my brother-in-law, Russell. Tomorrow, he will be stepping down from his position as Wing Commander of the Delware Wing of the Civil Air Patrol (CAP).

Over the years, he has volunteered an enormous amount of time and effort to the organization. He has received a number of awards–most recently the Daily Point of Light No. 3547 from the Points of Light Foundation, which goes into greater detail about Russell’s accomplishments.

It takes a very special person to give so much of himself as Russell has. The CAP is a valuable organization and has benefitted greatly from his contributions. Through his generosity, all our lives have been affected for the better.

Even though I can’t be there tomorrow for your Wing Change of Command ceremony, congratulations and thanks for everything you’ve done and continue to do.

Tags: Delaware, Civil Air Patrol, Russell Opland

Tonight, driving home from dinner, the subject of Mother Nature came up. Charlie, my 7-year-old daughter, asked, “What about houses?” We explained that houses are man-made, to which my daughter explained without hesitation, “Oh, that must be Father Nature, then”–which logically follows since fathers are men.

I am constantly reminded of how I want to be as smart as she is when I grow up.

Recently I’ve been recounting some very wise words my father shared with me when I asked him how to be successful. I left this comment on a friend’s (protected) blog entry, but I want to repeat it here for others to read:

Oh, K___ … in a sense, you’re lucky you’re only feeling this way now. I went through the “epiphany of stupidity” when I was a young teenager–realizing that I was smart but lazy and when the smart wears off, you start feeling really dumb and incapable.

The beauty and strength of this situation is that you are actually still very smart but now your goals lie outside the bounds of your natural laziness. Being lazy isn’t necessarily bad: it’s what drives really smart people to innovate.

My father, who didn’t complete a formal education, is one of the more successful people I know. One day, I asked him the secret to success and his answer was:

“Don’t be too smart. Be just stupid enough to not realize you’re failing. Then, just keep doing something until you succeed.”

Wiser words were never spoken.

You are fortunate in that you were and still are an exceptionally bright person. The upside here is that you now have the wisdom of your ignorance: you can now see the dirty spots that need cleaning that you couldn’t see before. Set your mind on a goal and be tenacious and persistent until success comes to you. Your ability to achieve is truly without limit.

Tags: wisdom, success, inspiration, quote

Tonight, at bedtime, my daughter Charlie decided to read a chapter out of one of her favorite book series, Phantom Stallion by Terri Farley.

We’ve made reading before bed a ritual with our kids since long before they could even speak. Perhaps its no coincidence, but both Charlie and Suzie are very advanced readers for their age.

Normally, I do the reading at bedtime so the kids can just relax and get ready to doze off, but tonight Charlie wanted to do the reading. As she read through the chapter, she yawned and said, “Boy, they sure can fit a lot of words on a page.”

I could only reply, “Yes, they sure can, sweetie.” My girls constantly amaze me at the depth of their keen observations. I hope they can hold onto their ability to discover things with such ease, and I can remain in awe of them.

My oldest daughter Charlie has been riding western-style horseback for the past three and a half years, and she’s been participating in the gymkhana‘s that her teacher, Troy Roberto, organizes. This past Friday, she rode with five other students and she did a fantastic job! Here’s her smiling as she receives her ribbons:

Here’s a short clip of her finishing up her pole bending event:

(You’ll need JavaScript and Shockwave Flash to view this video.)

Of course, Suzie finds something fun and creative to do while she cheers her big sister on. She decided to create a fun rock sculpture, which she explained was “a painter artist” which was holding his own palette with small rock arms.

I’m so proud of my girls!

Tags: family, horseback riding, gymkhana, omoksee