Artificial insomnia, this is not good

Recently, my witch doctor and I decided to change up my meds, removing Paxil from the blend and doubling up on the Wellbutrin. This has helped in some ways, but made things more difficult in others. This is to be expected, but I wonder how long it’s going to last–is this a temporary adjustment or a permanent result of the new blend?

Basically, the problem is that I’m not able to really focus during the normal daylight hours on getting work done like I used to. Before, I’d get up at 8 AM, sit down and start concentrating on things. Now, my head just feels fuzzy, well until noon, or even longer some days.

Now, what’s interesting is that around 10 PM until about 4 AM, I feel like I used to from 8 AM to 2 PM. Before, 3 PM was my low point and I’d often feel like passing out. Before, I used to get to bed around midnight and get up around 8 AM, and it worked really well. These days, I’ve been getting to bed around 4 AM, and fighting hard to wake up around 9 AM, feeling quite sleep deprived.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no problems going to sleep at midnight like I used to, but that means only being awake for 2 hours of my “peak brain time” vs. the 6+ hours I had before. When I stay up late, even though my brain is in the sweet spot, I’m exhausted and struggle to stay awake.

It’s only been a few weeks since the change in the meds, so I’m going to see if things start to get back to normal. Obviously, if it’s still an issue when I have my next appointment, it’ll be a major focus of the visit, but for now, I’m trying to be patient. But, it has become extra-difficult to get serious work done, and now is totally not the time given the new gig I recently started. (I’ll write more about that, in another entry.)

White chocolate and red liquorice are just wrong

These are wrong

Did you know that there’s no such thing as “white chocolate” or “red liquorice”? No, really …

Maybe sure you’re thinking, “But I’ve had white chocolate, and I’ve had red liquorice. What do you mean there’s no such thing?” What I really mean is: these names are misnomers.

“White chocolate” isn’t really chocolate. “Red liquorice” contains no liquorice.

Of course, these foods probably got their names because it was easier to refer to them by these names than something more accurate. Or, perhaps it was a clever act of marketing. Still, I’m doing my part by spreading the word about these inaccuracies.

Know of any common misnomers, things that people call by a certain name, which is actually technically inaccurate? Let me know by leaving a comment. Thanks!

A fine Dungeon Master in the making

I came downstairs this morning and noticed that someone, most likely Charlie, was playing with the LEGO table. What do most kids build out of LEGOs? Little vehicles? Maybe a pet shop? Or spaceships? And what do my kids make … ?

The beginnings of a LEGO dungeon.

Yeah, that’s right — it’s a LEGO dungeon. With a secret, hidden treasure room, an altar that looks like a diving board, and its own red dragon guardian and giant serpent.

Every day, I wonder if today’s the right day to try and introduce D&D to her … I have a feeling we’ve got a fine Dungeon Master in the making, here.

And this is how I get to start my day, today. I think it’s going to be a great one.

Erica Goldson, 2010’s epic valedictorian

I love this time of year, with graduations and their corresponding speeches. This year, Erica Goldson of Coxsackie-Athens High School won my heart and mind with this stellar speech, originally posted on Sign of the Times.

Here I stand

There is a story of a young, but earnest Zen student who approached his teacher, and asked the Master, “If I work very hard and diligently, how long will it take for me to find Zen? The Master thought about this, then replied, “Ten years . .” The student then said, “But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast — How long then?” Replied the Master, “Well, twenty years.” “But, if I really, really work at it, how long then?” asked the student. “Thirty years,” replied the Master. “But, I do not understand,” said the disappointed student. “At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that?” Replied the Master, “When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path.”

The only constant is change

At 9:30 AM this morning, I was informed that my employment was terminated. Once again, I’m a free agent, and its time to start hustling again. If we’ve talked about work opportunities in the past, now is the time to take those conversations to the next step.

Over the next few days, I’m going to do some deep thinking about what kind of services and products make sense for me to offer given today’s demands. Even with the depressed economic situation, I know that there is still more work to do than talented people to do it – the challenge is identifying what I can deliver better than others.

The second half of 2010 is going to be very exciting and I’m looking forward to crushing it


Suzie, my younger daughter, at seven years old, loves to ask me if I can put songs on her iPod Nano. She loves to dance, and often hears songs at the dance school that she likes and wants added. Today’s request was for Let Me Think About It.

I like the song – the music is awesome. But, after having a quick chat with my wife, we both agreed that the lyrics are totally not appropriate for Suzie to be listening to over and over. She was a bit disappointed when I told her that we didn’t approve of the song’s lyrics and I wouldn’t put it on her iPod, but I did say that I would be looking for a copy of the instrumental version without lyrics and if I can get it, I’d be happy to put that one on her iPod, which made her happy. So, I went and found one on the Intertubes and now she’s got a copy of it.

Rational religiousness, oxymorons all of you!

I still don’t understand why people feel they have to choose between Judaism, Christianity or Paganism, or any other supernaturally-based religion. If you believe in a God or Gods at all, why not believe in them all?


I can understand atheists: if you don’t believe that any God or Gods exist, you just don’t believe. This is actually rational and sound, regardless whether you’re right or wrong in the end. You have a fair, 50/50 chance of being right. But non-Christian Paganists, or non-Pagan Christians, or any combination of the various God-worshipping religions … to believe in the possibility of even one God at all is a tremendous leap of faith, but to believe that you, personally, are able to accurately discern which of the many religions is correct and which God or Gods actually exist is either ignorant hubris or outright stupidity.

This all might sound like an argument in favor of atheism, but I feel that’s a cheap exit that shouldn’t be taken by anyone of intellectual integrity. What I actually wonder is why more people don’t argue in favor of omnitheism.

I have generally self-identified myself as an igtheist Lutheran. However, I’m not fully committed to that label, as igtheism is a very strong position that simply defers the conversation of God’s existance. More accurately, I’m an apatheist Lutheran: I enjoy being part of a community of Christians who value a personal understanding of faith and their relationship with God. It just so happens that my relationship with God is one of irrelevance. But, the people I commune with, many of the values we individuals share, our concern for the world and each other … these things I value.

However, pushing forward from apatheism to omnitheism is a huge leap. Am I “missing” something by not incorporating Gods into my life? How will I ever know if I don’t try? What do I have to lose by trying?

Apatheism is a very convenient position, but life without risk yields little reward. Clearly, I need to do more deep thinking about this and make some decisions.

Do you identify as an apatheist? Have you wrestled with the conundrum of whether to make the leap to omnitheism? Do you have a story to share? I’d love to hear from you.

Sex toy or video game controller?

Sony, in the tradition of missing the boat, again, after the success of Nintendo’s Wii and its Wiimote, is still trying to catch up after four long years. Sony has finally unveiled … the PlayStation Move!

Hitachi Magic Wand

Waaaaaaaait a second. That looks awfully familiar … oh, that’s not the Move, that’s the Hitachi Magic Wand! Here’s the PlayStation Move:

PlayStation Move

I’m sure you can see where the confusion came from. Oops! ;-)

Nice job, Sony. If you’re still in the game console business in four more years, maybe you’ll actually build something interesting other than a Blu-Ray player with a sleek looking vibrator.

On making fun of disabled people

There’s been a lot of noise around the recent Family Guy episode involving a Down syndrome character making a reference to former Alaska governor Sarah Palin. For context, here’s the clip:

One of Sarah Palin’s responses includes an alleged quote from her daughter Bristol posted to Facebook. Besides totally mis-using the phrase “begs the question,” Sarah asks: “when is enough, enough?”

I’m not really concerned that a show mocked or satirized a public figure; that kind of treatment comes with the territory. What I find oddly strange is the reaction of Sarah’s, that it’s inappropriate to make fun of people with Down syndrome.

People spend a lot of effort and energy trying to suggest that people with disabilities can live “normal” lives. However, part of being normal is being made fun of for our shortcomings, whatever they happen to be. While disabled people obviously need certain adjustments made in order to accomodate them, suggesting that their disabilities are “out of bounds” or off-limits denies them that particular aspect of normalcy which they otherwise could have had.

As a person, I can sympathize that Sarah may be hurt that the Family Guy show chose to target her. As a parent, I can sympathize that her child was indirectly involved in the process and I would want to protect my child. But, the content of the episode itself does not actually make fun of her son Trig, nor of Down syndrome itself. The character in the episode with Down syndrome named Ellen, played by Andrea Fay Friedman who has Down syndrome herself, is actually cast as a very independent and assertive woman, who just happens to have Down syndrome. She’s about as “normal” as the rest of the zany, defective characters that are part of the Family Guy show.

See, she’s being treated just like everyone else, and as I wrote earlier, that’s the best thing you can do for a person with a disability: besides making the necessary accomodations required by their disability, treat them like the people they are instead of insisting on preferential treatment that perpetuates their outsider status.

Halloween 2009 is just another swine flu transmission vector

Halloween candy bowl.jpg

I know we all love this time of year with kids dressing up in cute costumes and the mounds of candy and parties, but with the current H1N1 swine flu pandemic, have we stopped to think about what we’re really doing?

Picture this: people who may be carrying the swine flu virus are handling candy that is being given out to children, who will then handle it and eat it, possibly putting their hands in their mouths in the process.

See the problem, yet?

Happy Halloween! :-)

Being a dissocial extrovert is hard

Last night, Samantha and I went into NYC to see Daniel Bauer’s “Purity” show at The Duplex Theater with my friend Ian. It was a fun show and his magic is simple but effective. The Duplex is a very small venue and the intimate setting really lets you enjoy the experience nicely.

But, that’s not the point … what I really want to write about is some introspecting I did. I’ve known that I’m an extrovert, but oddly I don’t tend to enjoy myself amongst a large number of people. I usually end up spending time with the same few people once I identify who I want to spend time with.

A while ago, I stumbled upon the definition of dissocial personality disorder which fits me to a tee. I’m finding that the Paxil and Wellbutrin combo are helping a lot with this, but it hasn’t totally eliminated the feelings of “gee, I wish there weren’t so many people here.”

I realize that the definition of extrovert doesn’t necessarily speak to the number of people one interacts with but merely the fact that external interaction brings positive effect, and it’s clearly possible to be a dissocial extrovert because I am one, but it also means finding people that I enjoy spending time with is difficult.

I just wanted to get these thoughts down in writing before they escaped my head, so I can reflect on them later, and perhaps some of you have insights to share that I may not have thought of, yet. See, there I go again, that extroverted nature which thinks better by expressing than reflecting, looking for external inputs …