I am awake and listening

It began last night, in talking with my friend Steve, in the cold air after an evening of conversation and pastries, a deep despair and depression. I don’t know when it started or why, and I suspect the details of it aren’t really important, anyhow. But, the feeling was very strong and very real and I just couldn’t escape it. I felt lost, small and worthless; everything I valued about myself seemed unimportant.

Today, I struggled to shake this feeling. I prepared the girls’ lunch and brought them to school as I normally would, but I just couldn’t shrug it off. It grew inside of me, until I finally raged against my frustration and spoke to several people about it. One of them, Torben, directed me to the text of Listen, Humanity (PDF) by Meher Baba. I was clearly gripped by existential angst and I described this to my therapist today as a feeling of “being adrift, without goals.” As I read through the text, this jumped out and grabbed a hold of me:

“As long as you do not wake up from a dream, you are dream-bound to feel it to be stark reality. A dream becomes a dream only when you wake up; only then do you tell others that the life you lived in the dream was just a dream. Good or bad, happy or unhappy, in reality the dream is then recognized as having been absolutely nothing.” (p. 36)

I recognize the damaging nature of my overwhelming misanthropy, but I feel powerless to escape it. I have been ignorant to the love freely given to me, surrounding me in the form of good friends and good fortune, because I cannot see why I should ever deserve such love, as worthless as I am. But, I am discovering that that is not the nature of love–it is not earned, or deserved, or otherwise conceived through recognition.

“Love is meant to be experienced and not disclosed. What is displayed is not love. Love is a secret which is meant to remain a secret save for the one who receives it and keeps it.” (p. 19)

I have nothing left to say.

del.icio.us/dossy links since March 5, 2007 at 09:00 AM

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The kids at Medieval Times, in Lyndhurst NJ

Charlie and Suzie with their champion, the black and white Knight, at Medieval Times

This past Sunday we took the kids to Medieval Times in Lyndhurst, NJ.
They had good fun watching the show. Charlie, naturally, was focused on
watching the horses and Suzie enjoyed the battles.

Converting rfbproxy PPM to MPEG

I was playing with the WebEx recorder and wondered if I could do something similar with VNC on Win32. It turns out that RealVNC 3.3.7 libvncauth and rfbproxy compile under Cygwin and can be used to capture a VNC session’s video pretty easily. But, what do you do with the recorded file and its non-standard format? Google didn’t turn up much help, so now that I’ve figured out how to convert it, I figured I’d share what I learned with everyone.

I’m going to assume that you can figure out how to compile and install stuff under Cygwin. If you don’t, it’s probably too difficult for me to explain in a general manner. To get started, you’ll need the following packages installed:

First, capture your VNC session with rfbproxy. I saved mine to a file called test.rec. Once you’re done, you’ll want to convert it to YUV4MPEG format:

$ rfbproxy -x test.rec | ppmtoy4m > test.y4m

Then, you want to convert the YUV4MPEG to MPEG format:

$ ffmpeg -i test.y4m test.mpg

There you have it! Simple as that … if, you can get all the necessary prerequisites compiled, which is definitely the hard part on Cygwin/Win32. It’s a lot easier on Linux, where you should be able to just pick up the binary packages for your distribution and install them.

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New RPMs available for ]project-open[ V3.2

]project-open[ logo

Frank Bergmann emailed me today to let me know that Christof Damian has
created a set of RPMs for all the prerequisites required to run AOLserver 4.5,
OpenACS and ]project-open[. You can
download them from SourceForge as part of the ]project-open[ V3.2 beta release.

What is ]project-open[?

Borrowing directly from their project’s website:

]po[ is a Web-based ERP/Project Management software for organizations with 2-200 users. ]po[ integrates areas such as CRM, sales, project planning, project tracking, collaboration, timesheet, invoicing and payments.

]project-open[ is one of the largest open-source based web applications in the world with more then 1,000,000 lines of code. It is used by more then 100 companies in 20 countries to run their businesses.

Frank also tells me that they’re hoping to release V3.2 in the May 2007
timeframe. ]project-open[ looks to be quite a capable web application and if you’re interested in checking it out, the new packaging for V3.2 should make it much simpler to do so.

Congratulations, Frank and the rest of the ]po[ team! Keep up the awesome work.

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del.icio.us/dossy links since February 26, 2007 at 09:00 AM

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March 2007 LOPSA-NJ cluster group meetings

LOPSA: the league of professional system administrators

Last night I attended the March
2007 LOPSA North Jersey cluster group meeting
at the Park Wood Diner in
Maplewood, NJ. LOPSA-NJ is what was formerly known as $GROUPNAME, an
organization for system administrators. There were eight of us there and you
can see us in these photos that were taken:

(Click to enlarge.)

(Click to enlarge.)

The meeting started in typical geek fashion: a bunch of us exchanged contact
information by IR beaming and Bluetooth sending them between our phones. We
then moved onto the agenda of discussing key tools that we find valuable which
started a quick discussion of screen, a tool that no
Unix-based sysadmin should be without. The conversation then shifted focus to
issue and bug tracking systems and their role in managing work queues. It
seems that the preferred system for issue tracking is RT. The awful monstrosity known as Remedy was maligned by everyone who had
the misfortune of having it inflicted upon them.

Tom Limoncelli wrote up his own notes for the Maplewood cluster group, as well as William Bilancio for the Princeton cluster group.

If you are a system administrator in the New Jersey area and are
looking to meet others for socializing, networking or to share your
experiences, you might want to consider joining us at our next meeting.


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del.icio.us/dossy links since February 19, 2007 at 09:00 AM

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Squee! My new laptop drive and enclosure have arrived!

OWC Mercury On-the-Go, fresh out of the box.

My poor Dell laptop has been surviving with less than 2 GB free out of its 40GB disk for months. I’ve tried to trim things down, deleting whatever I could and archiving the rest to DVDs. But, this nonsensical activity is nothing more than diminishing returns: the space will get used up again and the time, effort and aggravation of having to identify things to remove is so not worth it. So, for a mere $219, I’ll be adding an additional 100 GB capacity. What’s not to love?

In case you were wondering what that beautiful enclosure is in the picture, it’s an OWC Mercury On-the-Go (OWCMOTG800U2), $79.99. It’s a FireWire 800 and USB 2.0 enclosure for 2.5″ PATA HDDs. It’s a transparent plastic enclosure, for maximum geek value–yes, it’s sexy to show off what you’ve got inside the enclosure.

Two snags: my laptop’s crappy USB 1.1 isn’t studly enough to bus-power the drive and enclosure, so I need to now go and order the (not included!) OWC Mercury On-The-Go AC Power Adapter (OWCMOTGPWR), $9.95. Also, I need to get a FireWire 800 1394B 9-pin to FireWire 400 1394A 6-pin cable, too. So much for “immediate gratification” … grr!

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nsjsapi, server-side JS in AOLserver

After sitting on this code for long enough, I finally committed it to
CVS today: nsjsapi,
a module that uses the Mozilla SpiderMonkey
JavaScript-C engine for server-side JavaScript in AOLserver.

This is just my initial check-in of very basic working code. I’d
call it pre-alpha quality at this stage: it doesn’t do very much (yet)
and it’s likely to be wildly unstable. But, I’m making it available to
the world so folks can check it out, hack on it, give feedback, etc.

The code lives in SourceForge CVS: http://aolserver.com/sf/cvs/nsjsapi.
When it becomes suitable for more widespread use, it’ll get tagged and
released, but for now, it’s a “use at your own risk” kind of thing.

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